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Ana's Journey Part 1 Chapter 1

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                                                             Ana's Journey Part 1: The Journey Begins


Chapter 1

A wolf sat on the edge of a cliff, staring up at the sky as his unusual aqua blue and white pelt glimmered in the sunshine. “What a beautiful day it is!” The wolf barked. It indeed was a beautiful, peaceful, and quiet day. Nature’s beautiful sounds filled the air and the sun shone warmly down on the earth.

It was all quiet until padding and panting was heard in the distance. The wolf huffed slightly, his brother’s scent filled his nostrils. He almost hadn’t noticed his own sibling coming up to him. “Hello little brother Cobalt.”

Cobalt froze for a moment before padding up to his older brother, already knowing the male knew it was him. “Hello big brother Lighting Scar,” he greeted.

“It is good to see you,” the first male replied with a smile, then he noticed his brother was slightly tense, but Lighting Scar paid no attention, figuring it was nothing.

“Yes it is.. oh, I have something to telll you” Cobalt barked as he got the leader’s attention again. Lightning Scar nodded, giving him permission to speak. Cobalt opened his mouth to speak, but a loud howl cut him off.

“AWOOOOooooo”

Lightning Scar whipped around to face the direction the familiar how had come from. He knew who it was, but turned towards his brother to be sure. He tilted his head, “Is that White Beauty’s howl, Cobalt?” He asked worriedly.

Cobalt perked up, “Yes! Yes it is!” The younger male replied as he turned to get ready to run, yet Lightning Scar was already way ahead of him.

‘Hang on my love, I’m coming!’ Lightning Scar thought as he dashed off towards the howl, worried for his mate. It didn’t take him long to reach the den, and he poked his head in, “White Beauty? Dear, why did you howl? Is everything alright?” He asked several questions with a worried tone.

“Easy love.” She giggles. “Everything is fine my love, just calm down.” White Beauty said in a smiling and calm tone.

Lightning Scar shortly relaxes while panting and smiling, “Oh good, I’m glad.”

“Did you know that you are a father right now?” White Beauty asked her mate.

‘WHAT!’ Lightning Scar thought to himself as he gave his mate a confused look on his face before asking, “What.. What do you mean my love?”

“Didn’t your brother Cobalt tell you?”

He thought about it for a sec as he remember his brother was going to tell him something then shaked his head at his mate, “no dear, Cobalt didn’t tell me.”

“Well, why don’t you come over and see for yourself.” White Beauty said with a bit of humor in her voice as she giggles a bit.

Lightning Scar walked over to his mate and slowly looked down to see. He saw some of the most beautifulness pups he had ever seen. There were four beautiful and handsome pups, all of them had white pelts and aqua blue markings just like their parents, but there was one pup who represents both Lightning Scar and White Beauty exactly from head to tail.

“Wait.. What?” He asked in shock as his mate starts licking his face.

She stopped licking his face and smiled. “You are the strong and proud father of four beautiful and handsome pups, my dear.” White Beauty responded.

Lightning Scar smiled brightly and licks his mate. “They are beautiful my dear. I love you White Beauty.” He said as he shortly receive a lick back from his mate.

“I love you too my mate.”

Lightning Scar soon wants to know what genders the pups are, so he asked his mate, “White Beauty? What are their genders?”

White Beauty smiled, “well, we have here two boys and two girls, love.” She answered.

Lightning Scar gave an awe look and smiled. White Beauty looked down to see one of the pups who was a white female with aqua blue belly, ears and three stripes on her back. She was crawling around Lightning Scar as White Beauty giggles.

“Looks like one of them likes you a lot love.” She pointed out to him.

Lightning Scar played around with the pup a bit and soon asked his mate a question, “What should we name them?”

White Beauty looked at their pups, then looked at her mate, “well, let’s start off by naming two pups each.” She offered which made Lightning Scar smile.

“That is a wonderful idea love.”

Lighting Scar and his mate White Beauty thought of names for a while, sometimes studying each pup closely and carefully. Soon Lighting Scar and White Beauty thought of the perfect names for them.  Lighting Scar pointed with his tail the first female pup who was white with aqua blue belly, ears and three stripes on her back. “How about we name this little one that looks like both of us, ‘Ana’ and....” He said as he moves his tail to the first male pup who was white with aqua blue belly, right ear, stripes on his back and side of muzzle, plus this pup has a scar on his right eye, “and this handsome one be called ‘Lightning Jr.?” He questioned which earn a nod in agreement from his mate White Beauty.

“And these two can be Misty and Sport.” She said as she points her paw to the other two pups.

Misty is a white female pup with aqua blue markings on her ears, stripe around her muzzle, as well as aqua blue stripes on her back, shoulder and tail. While her brother Sport is a white male pup with aqua blue stripes on his back, just like his mother does and he also has scars on his eyes, just like his father does.

Lightning Scar gave his mate a happy look. “We both picked beautiful and handsome names.” He commented as White Beauty nods in agreement.

“I agree love.”

So the beautiful parents smiled as they enjoy the special moment with their new additions to the family. Lightning Scar quickly calls his brother Cobalt over. When he arrived at the alpha’s den, Lightning Scar notifies him about the pups being born and orders him to tell the other brothers about the pups, and also to tell them that they are all uncles. Cobalt nods and quickly ran off to tell Blazepelt, Thunderstrike and Icepaw that they are new uncles to their brother Lightning Scar’s kids. All of the males were happy and howling for their brother, but without any of them knowing that big trouble and danger will soon come when they least expected.
Ana's Journey Part 1: The Journey Begins
Summary: liongirl2289.deviantart.com/ar…

Story and characters (c) :iconliongirl2289:
Book Cover (c) Amazing :iconsoyala-silveryst:

This story has been re-edited, re-made, and added new things to it. I am submitting them in Chapter parts whenever they are typed.

ALL FANARTS OF THIS STORY ARE ALLOWED AND WILL BE FEATURED IN A SPECIAL ANA'S JOURNEY JOURNAL LOCATED RIGHT HERE: liongirl2289.deviantart.com/jo…
© 2017 - 2024 liongirl2289
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Yamatae's avatar
This is boring.

But then again I am an author myself and enjoy full in-depth chapters. You use too much of the same words when it comes to actions, such as "barks" and "pads" - wolves communicate with more than just mere barks; body language plays a big part of it but even so reading "barks" and "pads" in this story actually started to  grate on the nerves. You didn't add enough detail other than simple descriptions such as "A wolf sat upon an edge of a cliff". Very elementary writing style.

It does depend on how you humanize your wolves but from reading the first few paragraphs I would have thought they were wolves who could talk. If that is the case then mother wolf would not allow the alpha male into the den while her pups are still young.

Also the phrase "she said in a smiling and calm tone" made 0 sense. You should rewrite that to "she said calmly, smiling." The reason why I am giving you so much greif is because you have a bachelor's in creative writing. Your professors will be ashamed to read this especially since you have 4 years under your belt.

But this can be enjoyed by a much younger audience if it catches on just not someone who is well past their teenage years.

Cheers